Vale Unity

Its been almost six years since Ubuntu shipped with Unity as the default desktop and compiz as the underlying compositor. For every release since then, a similar software stack has shipped on every subsequent release up until 17.04 . Those ten releases make up about half of the Ubuntu desktop’s lifespan and certainly more than half of the person-hours invested into the project, so today’s announcement to wind it down is a pretty significant moment.

I haven’t worked on Unity or Ubuntu for a very long time now, but the announcement today has filled me with a couple of emotions. On one hand its disappointing to know that your legacy and a project that you personally invested a lot into is going away. Time truly is the destroyer of all things. I know Mark and a lot of other people at Canonical must be feeling particularly gutted right now. On the other, maybe its a sigh of relief. Unity certainly hasn’t been the most conflict free or easy project and maybe with this difficult decision the people involved finally have the freedom to move on without feeling guilty.

The Team who Built Unity

I have nothing but good things to say about the Desktop Experience Team at Canonical – later the Product Strategy Team and the associated Ubuntu community. Our core engineering staff was a killer combo. We had two people, Jason and Neil, who had amazing experience with graphical toolkits and a passion for Desktop GL. We had Mirco, Gord and Jay who knew how to extract every last ounce of performance from a GPU. We had Tim and Alan who were a marvellous leaders and a champion of stability and software maturity. We had Alex, Thomi and Thomas who championed automated testing. We had Neil again because he literally filled far more shoes, so he deserves more than one mention. We had Michal and Mikkel –  who were a masters of desktop search. We had Didier and Seb, who could get things shipped, no matter what. We had Robert – who knew how to put the pieces together for groundbreaking web-integration. We Marco and Andrea, who took the lead in maintaining the desktop even when nobody ask them to. We had Daniel who was a leader in desktop quality. We had John, Otto and Rosie who were amazing designers. We had Jorge and Jono who were personable and enthusiastic community managers. There were countless others making invaluable contributions. And then we had me – and I’m just humbled to have crossed paths with all these people.

We were co-workers but we were also friends. Not only friends, but very close, lifelong friends. We often talked about non-work related stuff to each other and really went the extra mile to support each other. We were under a lot of pressure to make the dream a reality and when you gel well together, that pressure makes friendships even stronger. We didn’t see each other in person much, but when we did, it honestly made up some of the happiest times of my life.

The Fun Moments

We had a lot of great moments with each other building Unity. There was a time when we had to instruct Mark on how to pull and build a new build back when we didn’t have stable updates in the alpha release. Mark was on a cellular connection and had to log out of IRC in order to restart his session. I remember Jason saying “whelp, if he doesn’t come back in 1 minute, assume we are all fired”. That got a few laughs.

There was another time when the DX team and the Design team had an ongoing prank-war with each other. This started with the “flies in the ice-cream” prank and eventually culminated with a sardine pizza being sent to Jason from England. I still have no idea how that happened. Then there was also the bug report.

We slipped all sorts of easter eggs into Unity. One, which when launched with UNITY_NEKO=1, replaced all images in the dash with images of cats. Another which almost made it in filled the screen with fire when the konami code was pressed.

The Low Moments

Of course, Unity’s development had its bad times. The development was, understandably not well received by the established community members who saw the project as fragmentation. We faced numerous quality control problems when trying to get the desktop out on such a tight timeline. The stacking bugs kept me up day and night and required a lot of personal sacrifice to get to a state where they stopped occurring so frequently. Some of our users were randomly hateful and/or toxic. For instance, someone in a Reddit AMA told Jason that they hoped he would be “hit by a bus”. That’s not a very nice thing to say. In the later half of the 11.10 cycle, I began to feel overwhelmed with matters going on in both my personal life and the status of the project and entered a deep state of depression. There was additional pressure in the company as Unity 2D was developed and the projects inevitably, though perhaps not intentionally, were pitted against each other.

Then there were the post 12.10 staff departures. It was really sad to see the team break apart almost as quickly as it formed. I left during this time as well after most of my friends on the team had left.

Unity 8

Unity 8 was a total reboot of the project, learning from the failures of Unity 7. There were a lot of high hopes. Canonical had recently been on a recruitment drive and hired a lot of smart people. On paper, Unity 8 looked technically groundbreaking. Unity was going to move away from an ageing, unmaintainable and limited display server architecture to one which was pervasively multithreaded, could take better advantage of mobile and desktop hardware, had high test coverage and really top-notch developers working on it. Global package management was going away in favour of isolated and atomically upgradeable containers known as ‘snaps’. The OS was going to make mobile hardware a first class citizen. Touch was going to become the new interaction paradigm. Everything was going to become more internet connected and integrated than before. Apps were going to become smarter on power and resource usage. The project was moving to a toolkit which at the time had an incredible backing and momentum behind it. Legacy apps were going to be supported. “We have to go deeper” was the motto of the team.

The pieces were in motion. A very real demo of this was ready in 2013 for announcement to the world. The technology was so ground breaking that it was going to continue under wraps for a while until it could reach perfection. And then we’d be in free software utopia. Convergence would become a reality. Ubuntu would win, by sheer force of being better than anything that came before it. The plan, idea and resources available to execute on that plan were perfect.

And then it was delayed.

And then it was delayed again.

And then it was delayed for a third time.

And now its not shipping.

An outsider’s postmortem

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t really see this coming, but not for the reasons that other people might say. The strategic decisions made were necessary – X11 was seriously limiting our ability to deliver on features and stability, without atomic updates, its hard to give people a secure and stable phone – but they were ultimately fatal. I remember back when we decided to rewrite compiz and completely underestimated the scale and effort to make that work in a bug-free way. It killed the project. Once you rewrite one thing, its very difficult to resist the urge to start rewriting other things while you’re at it. Porting compiz to C++ wasn’t enough; we had to split rendering into plugins; we had to support the non-composting case; we had to support reparenting; we had to support a replacement for function pointer hooking; we had to drop multi-screen and we had to move to a more up to date rendering model. All at once. We had to understand code that we hadn’t written and code where the original authors were long gone from the project. And to make it look like progress was made, we had to bolt on more features on top of the existing rewritten ones with fewer development resources than the ones who had already burnt out and quit.

About this time last year Unity 8 started to look an awful lot like compiz++ on a larger scale. Not only was it going to use Qt, it was going to use an entirely new display server! Not only was it going to use an entirely new display server, it was going to use an entirely new driver model! Not only was it going to use an entirely new driver model, it was going to use Android as the base for mobile! Not only was it going to use Android and Debian, but Debian would go away and we’d have containerised applications! Not only was it going to use containerised applications, but the applications would be all-new and written in Qt! And not only all that, but its going to be perfect!

The delays just kept on happening. And after ever delay, so as to motivate the base and show that Unity was still relevant, more scope was added. More scope led to more delays! More delays led to more scope! And its not going to ship until its perfect!

I became worried around this time last year that it was never going to ship. The reality was that “perfect” became a moving target. And the thing about aiming for perfection is that you can never hit it until you’ve had your imperfect product in front of users for a few years. Ironically, Unity 7 is now seen as “perfect” for a lot of people, because they don’t remember the change from GNOME 2 to Unity. And now there’s going to be another transition in moving to GNOME 3.


Unity was all about turning a community made platform into a product. The goals were noble – we wanted to get this amazing bit of community goodness into the hands of so many other users. We wanted to preach the word of free software. We wanted to show people that they do have an alternative to the big four companies that control the software they use on a daily basis. We wanted to show people that free software could win! And the only way to do that was to turn it into a product that was so irresistible and incredible that you couldn’t not buy it.

And that’s where the problem was. The developers making it wanted a community but in order to get it to where it needed to be, it needed to become a product. There needed to be one direction instead of many. Linux was no longer about choice. It was about the masses. Unity had lost its soul.

Where its all going

For now, it looks like Canonical has folded on client to double down on server. That was a very difficult decision to make and I applaud the leadership for their courage and for their ability to recognise what was becoming sunk cost. Its sad for the developers, product people and community involved, but at the end of the day, you have to make money.

Free software on the desktop might enter a dark age soon. There aren’t very many companies in this space now.  Intel was out as of halfway through last year. Google is focused on Android and Chrome OS. Novell and Sun folded a long time ago. Nokia fell off a burning platform. IBM is nowhere to be found. And now Canonical is pivoting away too. Samsung’s Tizen is potentially an interesting player, but everyone knows its a plan B.  Red Hat and SUSE remain and so does Endless. An of course there is still Collabora, Codethink, Igalia and other free software contracting firms, though (edit) their participation depends on the re-use of our technology by larger players outside the desktop space. There’s room to grow, but there has certainly been a lot of disruptive change lately.

(edit 10/04/2017: This section got a little more traffic than I was expecting and I wrote it quite quickly. I’ve made some changes to better reflect the state of affairs based on feedback. I’ve replaced “their participation depends on the larger players” with “their participation depends on re-use of our technology by larger players outside the desktop space” and clarified that its not all doom and gloom! Just that there has been a lot of change lately and things aren’t pointing in the most golden direction right now)

A new hope

Lets not forget where the desktop free software revolution came from. It came from ordinary people, you and I, who wanted to make a difference. It came from people who didn’t want to accept the Microsoft and Apple duopoly on computing. Even if the resources start to dry up now, it doesn’t mean that free software is gone forever. Some of the best innovations came during the post-bubble period of 2000-2010 where the software world had become stagnant with Windows XP and IE6.

There will always be people who want to do something different. A community will form again. And once everyone has a clearer head, free software will rise again.


When you relied on us to grow your population and economy, your birthright to exclude the people they loved too ceased.

When you wanted to spread your culture and cultural norms beyond your border, your birthright to exclude the people who accepted the change and allowed that culture to spread ceased.

When you wanted to mine our land for minerals, your birthright to exclude the workers and their families ceased.

When you wanted to give your sons and daughters the opportunity to marry the person they loved, your birthright to exclude their mothers, fathers, family and friends ceased.

When you wanted to rely on foreign talents to build your intellectual capital and hoard knowledge your birthright to exclude those who would give you that knowledge ceased.

When you wanted to rely on us to do the jobs nobody else wanted to do because they paid terribly and had awful working conditions, your birthright to exclude the workers and their community ceased.

When you wanted to rely on us to sell you goods and services at prices which are grossly unfair to us, your birthright to exclude the workers who toiled for hours to make those goods for you ceased.

When you wanted to rely on us to teach you our language and culture so that you could make your military intelligence even better, your birthright to exclude the people who carried that language and culture through the ages ceased.

When you bombed us, forcing millions of us to fear for our lives and flee, when you created instability on our home town because of your own agenda, when we all had to walk for months and pack ourselves into over-full boats and buses not knowing where we were going or if we were even going to live to make another home for ourselves, your birthright to exclude us ceased.

Apt is surprisingly flexible

After a break for a few months, I just shipped a new version of polysquare-travis-container. The main difference here is that we are now able to create and maintain containers without using proot at all, which is a slight improvement on the last big round of changes made in August.

The initial reason for using proot was to provide a simple way to fool apt and dpkg into thinking that it was running from the root directory when it was actually running from a directory owned by user. The theory goes that if you can fool apt into doing that, then you can install and run packages built for other distributions without the overhead of running virtual machines. As explained about two years ago, the best solutions we have available for doing this are chroot (and wrappers around chroot) and Docker. However both of those require root access to make the chroot system call and/or set up cgroups. proot solves that problem by running your program through ptrace, then intercepting and rewriting system calls such that programs think they are running on the root directory.

However, as time went on, I encountered problems with the proot approach. Mixing redirection with environment variables like PATH tended to not work out so well. On newer ubuntu releases proot ran incredibly slowly. Then, finally, it just stopped working at all on Travis-CI, which kind of defeats the purpose of using it in polysquare-travis-container.

Earlier in 2015 I realised the solution was to take the same approach used by polysquare-travis-container’s support for Windows and macOS – just set the right environment variables and support the packages which do the right thing and don’t hardcode absolute paths. This has worked out surprisingly well. Supporting linux package managers was far trickier. I suppose a part of the problem here was that they have historically always run as the root user and as a result wrote directly to /usr and kept their data in /var. After all – they are there to manage the entire filesystem, so having those assumptions makes sense.

After the changes made in August, I wasn’t too optimistic that it would be possible to run these package managers without using chroot or a chroot-alternative. But after some digging I found that Apt itself has a test suite which has to run under the exact same constraints. As it turns out, pretty much every path in Apt is configurable to some extent, so much so that with an Apt configuration like below, you can run apt as a non-root user and have it keep all its changes in a specified directory.

Apt {
    Architecture "amd64";
    Get {
        Assume-Yes true;
debug {
    nolocking true;
Acquire::Queue-Mode "host";
Dir "fakeroot";
Dir::Cache "fakeroot/var/cache/apt";
Dir::State "fakeroot/var/lib/apt";
Dir::State::status "fakeroot/var/lib/dpkg/status";
Dir::Bin::Solvers "fakeroot/usr/lib/apt/solvers";
Dir::Bin::Planners "fakeroot/usr/lib/apt/planners";
Dir::Bin::Solvers "fakeroot/usr/lib/apt/solvers";
Dir::Bin::Methods "fakeroot/usr/lib/apt/methods";
Dir::Bin::Dpkg "fakeroot/usr/bin/dpkg.w";
Dir::Etc "fakeroot/etc/apt";
Dir::Log "fakeroot/var/log/apt";

Along with Apt, you’ll also need to tell Dpkg to run in a separate root directory. Thankfully, it has command line options to tell it to do this. The only problem is that Apt invokes the Dpkg binary on occasion and so you’ll need to write a wrapper script to ensure that Dpkg gets called with the right command line arguments.

fakeroot/usr/bin/dpkg --root='fakeroot' \
--admindir=fakeroot/var/lib/dpkg \
--log=fakeroot/var/log/dkpkg.log \
--force-not-root --force-bad-path $@

You’ll notice above that I override the Dpkg binary with dpkg.w which contains the script contents above.

The final piece of the puzzle was to disable postinst, postrm and prerm scripts from running. These aren’t necessary in these containers since they are mostly responsible for updating things like system caches or updating configuration files. The containers are meant to be one-off environments so all we care about are the binaries. Disabling them was as simple as removing them.

With all of that effort out of the way, we can now create and run a container without the use of docker, chroot or proot and install a completely separate toolchain and run binaries from it.

$ psq-travis-container-create --distro Ubuntu --release precise --arch x86_64 container --local --packages PACKAGES --repositories REPOSITORIES

Configured Distribution:
 - Release: precise
 - Package System: DpkgLocal
 - Architecture: x86_64
 - Distribution Name: Ubuntu
✓ Using existing folder for proot distro Ubuntu precise amd64
-> Update repositories [apt-get update -y --force-yes]
   Get:1 precise Release.gpg [198 B]
   Get:2 precise-security Release.gpg [198 B]
   Get:3 precise-updates Release.gpg [198 B]
   Get:4 precise Release.gpg [316 B]
   Get:5 precise Release.gpg [316 B]
   Get:6 precise Release [49.6 kB]
   Get:7 precise Release [13.0 kB]
   Ign precise Release
   Get:8 llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6 Release.gpg [836 B]
   Get:9 precise Release [12.9 kB]
   Ign precise Release
   Get:10 precise-security Release [55.5 kB]
   Get:11 precise/main amd64 Packages [592 B]
   Get:12 precise/main TranslationIndex [196 B]
   Get:13 precise-updates Release [55.4 kB]
   Get:14 precise/main amd64 Packages [49.1 kB]
   Get:15 llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6 Release [3,355 B]
   Ign llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6 Release
   Get:16 precise/main Sources [934 kB]
   Get:17 precise/main TranslationIndex [205 B]
   Get:18 precise/main Translation-en [310 B]
   Get:19 precise/main Translation-en [15.2 kB]
   Get:20 precise/restricted Sources [5,470 B]
   Get:21 precise/main amd64 Packages [1,273 kB]
   Ign llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6/main TranslationIndex
   Get:22 precise/restricted amd64 Packages [8,452 B]
   Get:23 precise/main TranslationIndex [3,706 B]
   Get:24 precise/restricted TranslationIndex [2,596 B]
   Get:25 precise-security/main Sources [146 kB]
   Get:26 precise-security/restricted Sources [4,623 B]
   Get:27 precise-security/main amd64 Packages [664 kB]
   Get:28 precise-security/restricted amd64 Packages [10.8 kB]
   Get:29 precise-security/main TranslationIndex [208 B]
   Get:30 precise-security/restricted TranslationIndex [202 B]
   Get:31 precise-updates/main Sources [500 kB]
   Get:32 precise-updates/restricted Sources [8,840 B]
   Get:33 precise-updates/main amd64 Packages [1,045 kB]
   Get:34 precise-updates/restricted amd64 Packages [15.4 kB]
   Get:35 precise-updates/main TranslationIndex [208 B]
   Get:36 precise-updates/restricted TranslationIndex [202 B]
   Get:37 precise/main Translation-en_AU [4,434 B]
   Get:38 precise/main Translation-en [726 kB]
   Get:39 precise/restricted Translation-en_AU [2,407 B]
   Get:40 precise/restricted Translation-en [2,395 B]
   Get:41 precise-security/main Translation-en [269 kB]
   Get:42 precise-security/restricted Translation-en [2,793 B]
   Get:43 precise-updates/main Translation-en [431 kB]
   Get:44 precise-updates/restricted Translation-en [3,682 B]
   Get:45 llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6/main amd64 Packages [6,216 B]
   Ign llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6/main Translation-en_AU
   Ign llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6/main Translation-en
   Fetched 6,328 kB in 16s (389 kB/s)
   Reading package lists...
   W: GPG error: precise Release: The following signatures couldn't be verified because the public key is not available: NO_PUBKEY C1DB487B944B6EA7
   W: GPG error: precise Release: The following signatures couldn't be verified because the public key is not available: NO_PUBKEY 1E9377A2BA9EF27F
   W: GPG error: llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6 Release: The following signatures couldn't be verified because the public key is not available: NO_PUBKEY 15CF4D18AF4F7421
-> Downloading APT packages and dependencies [apt-get -y --force-yes -d install --reinstall nano cmake clang-3.6]
   Reading package lists...
   Building dependency tree...
   Reading state information...
   The following extra packages will be installed:
     adduser binutils bsdmainutils busybox-initramfs ca-certificates cmake-data
     cpio emacsen-common gcc-4.9-base gcc-6-base ifupdown initramfs-tools
     initramfs-tools-bin initscripts insserv iproute klibc-utils libarchive12
     libasan1 libasn1-8-heimdal libatomic1 libblkid1 libbsd0 libc-bin
     libc-dev-bin libc6 libc6-dev libcilkrts5 libclang-common-3.6-dev
     libclang1-3.6 libcomerr2 libcurl3 libcurl3-gnutls libdbus-1-3 libdrm-intel1
     libdrm-nouveau1a libdrm-radeon1 libdrm2 libedit2 libexpat1 libgcc-4.9-dev
     libgcc1 libgcrypt11 libglib2.0-0 libgnutls26 libgomp1 libgpg-error0
     libgssapi-krb5-2 libgssapi3-heimdal libhcrypto4-heimdal libheimbase1-heimdal
     libheimntlm0-heimdal libhx509-5-heimdal libidn11 libitm1 libk5crypto3
     libkeyutils1 libklibc libkrb5-26-heimdal libkrb5-3 libkrb5support0
     libldap-2.4-2 libllvm3.6 liblsan0 libmount1 libncurses5 libncursesw5
     libnettle4 libnih-dbus1 libnih1 libobjc-4.9-dev libobjc4 libp11-kit0
     libpciaccess0 libpcre3 libplymouth2 libpng12-0 libquadmath0
     libroken18-heimdal librtmp0 libsasl2-2 libslang2 libsqlite3-0 libssl1.0.0
     libstdc++-4.9-dev libstdc++6 libtasn1-3 libtsan0 libubsan0 libudev0 libuuid1
     libwind0-heimdal libxml2 libxmlrpc-core-c3 linux-libc-dev lsb-base
     module-init-tools mount mountall ncurses-bin openssl passwd plymouth procps
     sysv-rc sysvinit-utils udev upstart util-linux
   Suggested packages:
     liblocale-gettext-perl perl-modules binutils-doc cpp wamerican wordlist
     whois vacation gnustep gnustep-devel clang-3.6-doc gcc make libarchive1
     isc-dhcp-client dhcp-client ppp rdnssd net-tools bash-completion bootchart
     iproute-doc glibc-doc locales rng-tools gnutls-bin krb5-doc krb5-user
     pciutils libstdc++-4.9-doc nfs-common spell sysv-rc-conf bum sash watershed
     graphviz util-linux-locales kbd console-tools dosfstools
   Recommended packages:
     ecryptfs-utils llvm-3.6-dev python psmisc e2fsprogs libatm1 manpages-dev
     dbus libglib2.0-data shared-mime-info krb5-locales libgpm2 libsasl2-modules
     uuid-runtime xml-core plymouth-theme-ubuntu-text plymouth-theme
   The following NEW packages will be installed:
     adduser binutils bsdmainutils busybox-initramfs ca-certificates clang-3.6
     cmake cmake-data cpio emacsen-common gcc-4.9-base gcc-6-base ifupdown
     initramfs-tools initramfs-tools-bin initscripts insserv iproute klibc-utils
     libarchive12 libasan1 libasn1-8-heimdal libatomic1 libblkid1 libbsd0
     libc-dev-bin libc6-dev libcilkrts5 libclang-common-3.6-dev libclang1-3.6
     libcomerr2 libcurl3 libcurl3-gnutls libdbus-1-3 libdrm-intel1
     libdrm-nouveau1a libdrm-radeon1 libdrm2 libedit2 libexpat1 libgcc-4.9-dev
     libgcrypt11 libglib2.0-0 libgnutls26 libgomp1 libgpg-error0 libgssapi-krb5-2
     libgssapi3-heimdal libhcrypto4-heimdal libheimbase1-heimdal
     libheimntlm0-heimdal libhx509-5-heimdal libidn11 libitm1 libk5crypto3
     libkeyutils1 libklibc libkrb5-26-heimdal libkrb5-3 libkrb5support0
     libldap-2.4-2 libllvm3.6 liblsan0 libmount1 libncurses5 libncursesw5
     libnettle4 libnih-dbus1 libnih1 libobjc-4.9-dev libobjc4 libp11-kit0
     libpciaccess0 libpcre3 libplymouth2 libpng12-0 libquadmath0
     libroken18-heimdal librtmp0 libsasl2-2 libslang2 libsqlite3-0 libssl1.0.0
     libstdc++-4.9-dev libtasn1-3 libtsan0 libubsan0 libudev0 libuuid1
     libwind0-heimdal libxml2 libxmlrpc-core-c3 linux-libc-dev lsb-base
     module-init-tools mount mountall nano ncurses-bin openssl passwd plymouth
     procps sysv-rc sysvinit-utils udev upstart util-linux
   The following packages will be upgraded:
     libc-bin libc6 libgcc1 libstdc++6
   4 to upgrade, 108 to newly install, 0 to remove and 18 not to upgrade.
   Need to get 96.1 MB of archives.
   After this operation, 260 MB of additional disk space will be used.
   WARNING: The following packages cannot be authenticated!
     gcc-6-base libgcc1 libstdc++6 gcc-4.9-base libasan1 libatomic1 libcilkrts5
     libllvm3.6 libgomp1 libitm1 liblsan0 libtsan0 libubsan0 libquadmath0
     libgcc-4.9-dev libstdc++-4.9-dev libobjc4 libobjc-4.9-dev libclang1-3.6
     libclang-common-3.6-dev clang-3.6
   Get:1 precise-security/main libc-bin amd64 2.15-0ubuntu10.15 [1,177 kB]
   Get:2 precise/main gcc-6-base amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [18.1 kB]
   Get:3 precise/main libgcc1 amd64 1:6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [44.6 kB]
   Get:4 precise/main libstdc++6 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [391 kB]
   Get:5 llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6/main libllvm3.6 amd64 1:3.6.2~svn240577-1~exp1 [11.5 MB]
   Get:6 precise-security/main libc6 amd64 2.15-0ubuntu10.15 [4,636 kB]
   Get:7 precise/main gcc-4.9-base amd64 4.9.4-2ubuntu1~12.04 [16.9 kB]
   Get:8 precise/main libasan1 amd64 4.9.4-2ubuntu1~12.04 [240 kB]
   Get:9 precise/main libatomic1 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [10.8 kB]
   Get:10 precise/main libcilkrts5 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [49.6 kB]
   Get:11 precise/main libgomp1 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [85.6 kB]
   Get:12 precise/main libitm1 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [34.3 kB]
   Get:13 precise/main liblsan0 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [136 kB]
   Get:14 precise/main libtsan0 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [324 kB]
   Get:15 precise/main libubsan0 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [125 kB]
   Get:16 precise/main libquadmath0 amd64 6.2.0-3ubuntu11~12.04 [146 kB]
   Get:17 precise/main libgcc-4.9-dev amd64 4.9.4-2ubuntu1~12.04 [3,761 kB]
   Get:18 precise-security/main libdbus-1-3 amd64 1.4.18-1ubuntu1.8 [146 kB]
   Get:19 precise-updates/main libnih1 amd64 1.0.3-4ubuntu9.1 [54.8 kB]
   Get:20 precise-updates/main libnih-dbus1 amd64 1.0.3-4ubuntu9.1 [16.0 kB]
   Get:21 llvm-toolchain-precise-3.6/main libclang1-3.6 amd64 1:3.6.2~svn240577-1~exp1 [5,398 kB]
   Get:22 precise-updates/main libudev0 amd64 175-0ubuntu9.10 [27.8 kB]
   Get:23 precise-updates/main sysvinit-utils amd64 2.88dsf-13.10ubuntu11.1 [60.2 kB]
   Get:24 precise/main insserv amd64 1.14.0-2.1ubuntu2 [50.9 kB]
   Get:25 precise-updates/main sysv-rc all 2.88dsf-13.10ubuntu11.1 [44.6 kB]
   Get:26 precise/main ncurses-bin amd64 5.9-4 [151 kB]
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Container has been set up in container



A conversation

Over the next few days, weeks, months and years there will be a conversation covering one very important question. Depending on the answer that people come to accept, the belief formed will have far reaching implications.

That question is: “is liberalism no longer a viable political ideology in a democracy?”

Many people will tell you that Brexit and Trump became a reality because liberals ignored the interests and views of the “white working class”. This explanation is attractive because it is simple. But simple explanations are dangerous, especially when we consider what some of those interests and views are.

The reality is that in some sense, the “silent majority” who voted to put Trump in the White House and the Republicans in the Congress and Senate must have, at some level, believed that you could do anything you wanted to a woman if you had power and money. They must have at some level believed that the country you were born in determined whether you were a rapist, a criminal or ‘perhaps a good person’. They must have at some level believed that your faith and the community that you grew up in is a reason to prevent you from interacting with some subset of 300 million people in the world, despite the fact that such a subset might want to include you.

We can say that Trump voters had these beliefs because it would take an astounding level of self deception to not hold those beliefs and still vote the way they did. Perhaps how they reached those beliefs involves a degree of moral blameworthiness. Perhaps it involves a degree of socialisation.

Regardless of the source, the question for liberals now is whether those beliefs, views and interests should be catered to for the sake of electability. Be very weary of this.

In a representative democracy elected representatives are not just a mouthpiece for the majority states, or the majority of electorates or the majority of people. They are also there to act on moral principle. We elect representatives because we trust them to make the hard decisions for all of us on our behalf.

One only needs to look to Australia to find out what happens when this principled outlook is lost. Our own politicians figured out that they could make themselves more electable by accommodating racist and xenophobic beliefs. But they quickly found out that racism and xenophobia begets more racism and xenophobia. Australia now runs one the most, if not the most, cruel and inhumane offshore detention schemes with a large degree of bipartisan and public support. And it was only last week that we heard it was to become more cruel. Real people are suffering and even killing themselves as a result.

If you find that liberals are unelectable because because of a racist, xenophobic and sexist silent majority, change the silent majority. We could all (myself included) do a much better job to call out intolerance when we see it.

Silently accepting it is so much worse.


There’s a meme going around social media at the moment which I think is particularly worthwhile, called #itsokaytotalk. If you haven’t seen it yet, its primary purpose is to send a message that as individuals, we can and should, seek support from our friends, colleagues and family when we are experiencing problems, feelings or negative thought patterns (often collectively referred to as “mental illness”). The message also points out that, statistically speaking, the leading cause of death for people aged 15-44 is suicide. It has gained a substantial amount of traction recently, so you’re likely to see it if you haven’t already.

I’m usually hesitant about adding my voice to the chorus with these things, primarily because I don’t think I have anything important to add and I don’t want to minimise the stories of others whom I think should be listened to. I had some debate with myself about whether to add my thoughts to the mix, but I think I can contribute to the common good by adding those thoughts.

I should add a disclaimer here that the stories I will tell here are in no way intended to minimise the experiences and stories shared by other people. We should all take the time to listen to their stories and, if appropriate and called for, provide our words of support. I’m also not purporting to act in any capacity as a mental health professional. Most of the stories I will share with you in this post are either anecdotal or personal experience. As we all know, the plural of anecdote is not evidence.

Now some unpacking of this message and the answering of questions which may actually provide some support and insight to people.

Why should I burden others with my feelings, thoughts, fears or problems which just seem so irrational, uninteresting or commonplace?

The analogy I like to draw here is that depression and anxiety are not like a car crash. At least in my own experience and in the experience of others I know, they are experienced not as a reaction to a highly traumatic adverse event but usually start as a small reaction to something that might otherwise seem commonplace(1). Depression and anxiety are more like cancer. For some reason that we don’t understand yet, sometimes people get unlucky and that otherwise commonplace disappointment starts to infect their identity and sense of self-worth. The person starts to believe that they are defective, unworthy, useless or unloveable because of what may have happened to them.

Unfortunately, the human brain is wired to be very good at confirmation bias. The small “network” about our identity grows and as it grows, more thoughts become linked to it. The person afflicted starts to explain everything that happened around them by reference to the  belief about themselves. Then they begin to act out the belief, which reinforces it even more. Soon almost everything begins to remind the afflicted person of how terrible they are and it becomes overwhelming.

Common examples of these small seeds that grow are relationship breakdowns, fights with friends, lack of employment or lack of success at work or education.

As an example to dissect, I’m going to pick unamicable breakdowns of a romantic relationship, because they’re common, they hurt like hell and we’re very embarrassed to talk about them. Usually when a romantic relationship breaks down, the person who wanted to stay in the relationship will search for answers and explanations as part of the grief cycle. It is quite likely that one of those explanations will start with “If only I …” followed by some sort of statement about a person’s internal characteristics, appearance, behaviour or the like. That explanation feeds back into the person’s sense of self-worth, perhaps because they feel the particular characteristic which they thought was the cause of the relationship breakdown makes them inherently defective or unloveable. And so the cycle begins and continues. This isn’t the fault of anyone in particular – it is just a thing that happens.

Because such unamicable breakdowns are a fact of life and happen frequently, we’re generally hesitant to talk about them, viewing them as “drama”. There’s a rather unhelpful adage of “block, gym, lawyer, move on” which reinforces this notion. The thing is that while the breakdown of the relationship might, objectively, seem insignificant to talk about, the consequential impact on identity and self-worth is very significant and could well be a life-or-death conversation. A good way to combat confirmation bias is to have an external source provide undeniable evidence that the internal belief is false. And it is far easier to combat a dogma in its early stages of formation than the point where it becomes well-formed and attached to lots of other things. If you had cancer, would you prefer to nip it in the bud or go through years of excruciating treatment later on down the track? I’m sure you’d probably pick the former.

(1) This is not to say that depression and anxiety can be experienced as a response to a highly traumatic or extreme events nor are the needs of a person in that situation any less important than they would be at present.

If I just exercise and take some antidepressants, the problem will just go away and I won’t have to talk to anyone right?

Actually, no, because depression and anxiety which are sourced from beliefs about yourself don’t work like that.

Both natural (in the sense of endorphins released during exercise and dopamine released during pleasurable activities) and artificial antidepressants have the function of lifting your mood and your energy levels. They reduce the effect of the the negative-self-worth network so that you can function without everything slamming that network and making you feel miserable all the time. But they don’t fix the problem, which is that the network exists in the first place.

Medication and exercise absolutely have an important place and if you are struggling with recurring negative thought patterns or generalised malaise, it never hurts to ask a doctor who can refer you on to the right person and to determine if they’d be right for you.

However, you still need to talk to your friends, family and colleagues if something is troubling you and you’re stuck in a thought loop. See above for why.

What if my friends, family and colleagues don’t care?

Put yourself in their shoes – if someone came to you and wanted to talk about something that was making them feel miserable, would you tell them to “get over it” because you didn’t care?

Of course not.

In fact, they’re more than likely to be humbled by the that you opened up to them and will likely encourage you to talk to them more.

I don’t discount the possibility that someone may well tell you to go away or minimise your feelings. To that extent, I would say that if you are the person being asked to give support, try to look past the particular problem to the internalised belief that the person has. To the person seeking the support, it may be easier for people to give you that support if you talk about the belief as opposed to the event. We can all relate to beliefs about ourselves, whereas it might be harder to relate to particular events.

What if I’m so far down the track that it feels impossible to talk about this stuff?

The more depression and anxiety grow, the more complex the emotions and circumstances behind them become. Often times things become cyclic and entangled and you just don’t even know where to start.

Start somewhere. Even if its just the bad day you happened to have at work. Your discussions with others may prove to be enlightening and help you to find the core belief that’s causing the entangled feeling of misery.

Of course, you can also ask  doctor to refer you to a qualified counsellor who specialises in things like clinical psychology and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Those professionals are there to help you unpack what’s going on and change the thoughts, beliefs and behaviours you have might may be reinforcing the negative self-worth. In Australia, you can get ten free private consultations and ten free group sessions per year with a doctor’s referral. That almost gives you one private and one group consultation per month.

I’m not a man and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone either

It would be folly for me to end this post without some discussion of how depression and anxiety affect people who aren’t men. I’ve deliberately tried to adopt a non-gendered approach in this post for reasons I’ll discuss below but I should probably note that it seems to be in vogue right now to talk about mental health as it relates to men and we seem to be forgetting women and other gender minorities in the mix too.

First of all, there’s a gendered assumption that women are better at leveraging their networks for emotional support and further that women are better at talking about emotions generally. Anecdotally at least, I’ve found that to be totally untrue. Now, I have no real way of verifying this, because I have no experience of being female. But out of the people who have come to me for support, men and women included, everyone told me that they felt that there was nobody else they could talk to about the challenges they were facing. Didn’t matter how large or small their networks were. So in that sense, one should not abstain from talking because a gendered assumption tells them that they should have networks which will automatically provide support and advice.

Second of all, there’s another (perhaps implicit) assumption that women face less stigma than men for being afflicted by problems in their emotional wellbeing. This is also totally false. The stigma just has different labels and consequences. Many women are just as concerned as men that talking about their own mental wellbeing and related problems for fear that it could have adverse affects on their career, social standing or future relationship prospects. All I can do in this post is acknowledge and validate the fact that, for both genders, the fear is there and it feels very real, and state further that talking to people you trust about what’s bothering you will still be beneficial.

Closing Thoughts

The #itsokaytotalk meme is important and we should all take heed of its message. I only wrote this post because I think my own experiences with having been there and in supporting others who have been there could contribute some insight that others might find useful.

I don’t want this to become a post about me, so I’d challenge you to do this. Don’t click the “like” button on this post. Don’t reshare it verbatim either. If you think I said something that’s worthwhile to spread, then write about it in your own words and add your own thoughts. If I missed something, talk about that. Criticise me if you think I’m wrong. You don’t even have to tell me that you saw this post as inspiration to do so.

Mental wellbeing is a really complex and hard topic. It is complicated by all sorts of personal, cultural and social factors.  The more people understand about it, the more they’ll able to help themselves, so lets make this an exercise in not just awareness, but understanding.