Drop Everything

At Compiz, we have a very important announcement to make:

Forget MPXIR

Forget Compiz++

Forget NOMAD

Forget every other thing we have been working on.

Something better has been in the works for a long time. Something you would never notice unless you were a dev yourself. Something will see the light of day once again for 2 years. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you:

Yeah, we all know you have wanted it
Yeah, we all know you have wanted it

BERYL 0.2.1.0.0.0.0.0.1!!!!!!!!

We know. Compiz development has been slow. It seems we are being outpaced by other projects. But now we take the lead once again from the ashes of the glory-days. Beryl has been developed under secret wraps until now – right at home with git://git.compiz.org/inactive/beryl. We modified gitweb and cgit to not show any commit activity, because we knew nobody cared about Beryl. Well you were wrong! Beryl has been unleashed to take over the world from KWin and Shell busting features like:

  • Allowing you to send IMAP and POP email from the titlebar – take that metacity
  • It has t3h spinnan cubez!! and aslo t3h woobly windowz!
  • It doesn’t require OpenGL to operate anymore. In fact, it doesn’t even use OpenGL anymore. OpenGL only allows for drawing in 3 dimentions (plus the fourth for time). Well we use ALL EIGHT. Our RnD team took a long time to get to that one. Makes you think twice before posting a feature request eh?
  • Using our new FROG (Feature Request Auto Grant) system, Beryl will auto-detect when you post in the feature requests forum and grant that wish for you. Yes. ANY WISH. *
  • Violating all laws of physics – we have have implemented some features people have long wanted
    • Input Redirection: When you click on a transformed pixel on your screen, Beryl BECOME your kernel and force, due to the fact that it is a higher process hierarchy than X.org, X.org to put that input in the right place. Don’t open up your system, it gets really ugly in there when this happens…
    • Thumbnails of minimized windows: When a window is minimized, Beryl captures it before it flees to the taskbar. When you hover the taskbar, the window will appear in REAL TIME and cry out for help. The window is released with an NDA about it’s encounter when you ‘unminimize’ it
    • By copying some unknown patents from microsoft, we are able to make the icons displayed in, shift, stackswitch, ring, switcher and staticswitcher less fugly. The icons used to render from WNCK at 32×32. We can boost the quality of this rendered image to 32.5×32.5 and because of this, we can display it at twice the size. Yes people – the difference between 1/3 and 1/2 is the same as the difference between 1/5 and 1/4. I had this sudden realization during physics and handed in a fail test because of it.
    • OMG WE HAVE DESKTOPS ON TOP OF THE CUBE NOW!!!!!!!
  • Due to our advanced technology, Beryl now only runs on TomTom OS. Right now, TomTom is being sued out of existance, so it runs on nothing in reality
  • Fixed a damage bug present from the 1.x days
  • Fixed the black window bug with nvidia
  • Fixed general ati fail
  • Forced intel hardware to do shaders right
  • Adjusted the perambulic merimbulator
  • Megatronized the gigapixel shared arithmatic megaprocessor RAM unit

Developers:

Guess what – you have to rewrite your plugins AGAIN! But don’t worry, we picked a really nice language – LOLCODE. I’m sure you’ll have fun.

* Be careful what you wish for

16 thoughts on “Drop Everything

    1. OK some probably fell for it.

      But wake up all at Compiz as Beryl is alive and kicking !

      You might be interested that over a weekend a mate and myself introduced Beryl back in to the fold. This is a direct result of our frustration of how bloated Compiz has become and is becoming more of a fashion thing rather than functional for having multiple desktops.
      OK so I have been using Ubuntu 7.04 on and off for a couple of years now and Beryl comes as default. After Ubuntu 7.04 Compiz Fusion (now Compiz) came as default. To begin with this was not a problem but as Compiz became more complex with spheres, globes and other useless features, performance was becoming impaired.
      Late one night I started looking at introducing Beryl to Ubuntu 9.04 (Alpha 6). As expected there were numerous depedendency issues.
      Piratesmack looked in to the same possibilty and together we pooled our resources and after running many scripts and testing by myself Piratesmack compiled some dependency free deb. packages.

      Piratesmacks Beryl 0.2.1 deb. packages for Ubuntu 9.04
      http://files.filefront.com/beryl+fixed+904tarbz2/;13596520;/fileinfo.html

      Save to home directory

      extract tar.bz2

      cd beryl-fixed-9.04

      sudo ./install.sh

      Piratesmacks Beryl 0.2.1 deb. packages for Ubuntu/Mint
      http://files.filefront.com/beryl+packages+021tarbz2/;13508777;/fileinfo.html

      Save to home directory

      extract tar.bz2

      cd beryl-packages-0.2.1

      sudo dpkg -i *.deb

      Beryl 0.2.1 on Ubuntu 9.04

      Beryl 0.2.1 on Mint 6

      One thing you cannot do is knock the simplicity of Beryl and how much more useful it is than modern day Compiz.

      So for those who wish to mock I say Beryl is far from dead and people want it as they are downloading it for the very reasons I have outlined above.

      LUg.

  1. I lol’ed. But then I realized, Emerald Theme Manager is such a frozen turd. Jasper could not arrive soon enough. 😦

  2. @Dread Night:

    Probably not much – I’m fairly bogged down with schoolwork ATM. I just threw this together in 5 mins because some of the devs on the IRC thought it would be a good idea =)

  3. @Dread Knight: Obviously not enough code to compensate for the lulz provoked by by this article.

    Just read the article and didn’t notice the publishing date for the first 5 seconds XD.

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